My Ducky, My Sister, My Mother, My Forever
You turned 40 this year… and I keep thinking - how did we get here? How did two little girls who had to grow up without a mum end up surviving everything life threw at us… and still loving as deeply as we do?
I was one. You were three. We were too young to understand what it meant when she left, but somehow, without ever being asked, you stepped into shoes no child should have to fill. You became my mother. My shield. My comfort. My everything.
I don’t think I’ve ever told you this - but you saved me, Ducky.
Every. Single. Day.
When I started school, the world felt too big, too loud, too frightening. I would cry and beg the teacher to take me to you. And when I finally saw your face, it was like the sun came out. You were my safety. My anchor. My home. You still are.
I found an old slam book recently where you’d written you once wanted to become a nun. I laughed and cried at the same time, because it’s so you - always led by a pure heart, wanting to heal the world. You may not wear a habit, but you’ve been my nun, my therapist, my guide, my safe place, all my life.
And now, you’ve grown into this extraordinary woman - a wife to Shane, a mother to beautiful little Ad, a therapist who still dreams of becoming a psychologist. You’ve carried your family across not just one, but two countries in just a few years — with Shane, Ad, Bambi, Lulu, Elsa, and Dangili - and somehow made each place feel like home. That’s your gift, Ducky. You don’t just live in a house, you create warmth, love, and belonging wherever you go.
This year, I had the gift of being with you for your 40th. Koh Samui. Bangkok. Weed gummies for the first time. A go-go bar (still laughing about that). Then back to Singapore to be with your family. It was me, you, and Shark - three sisters in spirit, making memories we’ll hold for a lifetime.
I call you Ducky because of the way you walk - but the truth is, you’ve always been the one walking ahead of me, clearing the way, making sure I never had to face the darkness alone.
And here’s the part I’ve never said out loud:
Watching you with Ad has been healing for me in ways I didn’t know I needed. You’ve given her the love, patience, and stability we never had - and in doing so, you’ve shown me what a mother’s love truly looks like. It’s made me proud, yes… but it’s also made me ache in the most beautiful way. Because in her eyes, I see the little girls we once were, and I see how far we’ve come.
I am proud of you beyond anything words can hold. For the battles you’ve fought quietly. For the love you’ve poured endlessly. For the woman you’ve become despite everything life tried to take from us.
You are my sister. My mother. My safe place. My forever.
I love you beyond time, beyond distance, beyond life itself.
Always your little sister,
Steph ❤
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